AlfInYoMouf.com

Considering the day I’ve had, I thought about featuring Cut Copy’s “Hearts On Fire” music video for today’s blog. That New Order/early-’90s dance music throwback literally depicts the protagonist “crying in the rain.” Then I remembered that Miami is in the midst of its yearly Winter Music Festival.

Cut Copy will be performing at the Ultra Music Festival on Saturday along with Late of the Pier, but cash flow is tight in spite of Kyle McCormick’s efforts, so I am forced to miss what would have been my Woodstock. Boo fucking hoo. No matter, Late of the Pier will be performing tomorrow night at my favorite local dive as a warm up for Ultra’s second day, and you bet your sweet ass that I won’t be missing this Britons rock out.

☼

☼

At the very top is their music video for “Space And The Woods.” This second one is Late of the Pier’s “Focker,” wherein they are beaten by Depeche Mode’s old stage buddy. Makes sense since Late of the Pier — along with fellow Ultralites Cut Copy, Crystal Castles and The Whip — borrow heavily from New Wave music, as did all of the great hipster albums of 2oo8. (2009 seems to recall Beach Boys harmonies as a paradigm.)

I haven’t looked forward to a weekend this much in a long time. (Two weeks, by my reckoning.) One of my favorite bands of recent times on Friday night, and then an explosive DJ melee on Saturday night. Mind you, I don’t care for that kind of electro-body music (not to be confused with EBM, the genre, but I’m not a big fan of Throbbing Gristle, either), but under the right influence of fun, I’m sure it will be a night to remember. If I have any brain cells remaining on Sunday, that is.

Am I an Anglophile? Seems like I am. Far and beyond, I prefer their music to anything the America has ever produced. (Minus the Beach Boys, doi.) So here is Britain’s current big thing, Late of the Pier, with their resplendent “Bathroom Gurgle.”

(I was about to cite Paul Anka as an exception to the rule, but then I remembered that he’s from Canada. That man’s a forgotten legend.)

☼

☼

CLICK HERE to get your hands on some cheap wine!

☼

Tags: Anglophile, Bathroom Gurgle, Beach Boys, Crying in the Rain, Crystal Castles, Cut Copy, Depeche Mode, EBM, Focker, Hearts On Fire, Kyle McCormick, Late of the Pier, New Order, New Wave, Paul Anka, South Park, Space And The Woods, The Whip, Throbbing Gristle, Ultra Music Festival, Vagabond, Winter Music Festival, Woodstock

That is what money will look like in some sixty years, when the ultra-conservative despots of this country decide to make currency depict President George W. Bush.

Oh yeah, here’s the original. I wanna not not cite.

Speaking of faceless imperialists, have you ever wondered what AT-ATs do in their spare time? You know, when they’re not asploding secret bases on Hoth? Well, All Terrain Armored Transports (just off the top of my head) are adorable little weapons of contained destruction, as shown here:

☼

☼

There’s a lolcat joke in there somewhere. And I’m thinking it, too: AT-STs have to really step it up to regain their status as the darling ground transports of the Empire.

To finish off this otherwise intensely geeky post, I deliver a video the Jezzies of the world brought to my attention. I showed it to my brother and he said, “I know that guy…the dude from LOST!” Yezzir, it’s everyone’s favorite present-day Doc Brown, Daniel Faraday.

During the criminally short time LOST is on the air, nothing else seems to matter. The thought of missing an episode might prompt me to get stabby. I cannot say enough good things about the show. Jeremy Davies’ super-scientist is always a pleasure to watch, with his nervous mannerisms and space-time continuum spiels. What have I gotten from this current season? That the island is like a record. How many times will we hear that? Well, the record, she is skipping.

So here’s a 1992 Subaru commercial starring the doc, awkward mannerisms intact. He talks about punk rock Subaru, which kinda sounds like an explanation of why Charlotte died on the island an no one else did if you listen very closely.

☼

☼

I think I remember this commercial. Or maybe I went back in time and saw it. CLICK HERE to comment to the future.

☼

Tags: All Terrain Armored Transports, All Terrain Scout Transports, asplode, AT-AT, AT-ST, Back to the Future, Charlotte, Daniel Faraday, Darth Vader, Death Star, Doc Brown, Empire, geek, George Bush, George Lucas, George W Bush, Hoth, Jeremy Davies, lolcat, LOST, punk rock Subaru, stabby, Star Destroyer, Star Wars, Subaru, The Empire Strikes Back, The Island

This commercial from around 1990 was way ahead of its time. It stars Kid Vid and the rest of the Burger King Kids Club and it still seems ahead of its time. I remember it served as a very effective way of making Generation Y obese since it appeared in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles home videos. Cowabunga, pizza, Whopper!

(My coworker, Juan, said this commercial is about an LSD trip gone awry. So what if people jump out of windows to get some BK?)

The Burger King Kids Club sure were an accepting bunch. Their leader may have been Cyclops from the X-Men, but they also had a black kid who resembled both Kid and Play from Kid ‘n Play, a cripple, an abandoned mutt, two Caucasian future-sluts, an ’80s nerd, and a Hispanic (aptly named Lingo). They must have seemed so progressive compared to their competitors. Yeah, Ronald McDonald hangs out with a purple mentally-challenged tree and a feminist bird, but what’s up with them befriending  Mayor McCheese? They’re only gonna eat him! Fly, you fool!

The day’s second video is hilarity in a bottle. It’s no secret that people smoke. One can smoke a myriad of things. Cigarettes, cigars, funny cigarettes, this thing I like to call “jamba juice.” However, we live in scary times. Kids are getting pregnant, women are getting pregnant with eight kids, and kids are smoking candy. Not just any candy, but the one most hazardous to your health: Smarties.

Watch this funny kid who smokes it up with the best of ‘em. You may have seen it already on Primer Impacto or some similarly-titled scandalous show. Lock your babies in the closet. It’s better they don’t know about fun until they have unprotected sex. Go! Now!

☼

☼

CLICK HERE to smoke out with me. Or comment. Same diff.

☼

Tags: acid, BK, Burger King, Burger King Kids Club, cigarettes, cigars, cowabunga, cripple, Cyclops, fast food, Grimace, Jamba Juice, Kid 'n Play, Kid Vid, Lingo, LSD, Mayor McCheese, McDonald's, nerd, Ninja Turtles, Ronald McDonald, Smarties, smoking, smoking Smarties, Whopper, X-Men

This episode’s Video of the Week is the last one we have for a project not involving the a-ha collective. It is “Empty Of Feeling” by Savoy, with the perfect indie pop-rock duo of Paul and Lauren Savoy treating us to their sepia-splashed lives. I always imagine theirs to be the infallible union; I think all a-ha fans feel this way, too.

They met before a-ha had “Take On Me.” Paul wrote “There’s Never A Forever Thing” and “Angel (In The Snow)” for her. (And possibly every Paul-penned a-ha song ever, minus the ones that deal with murder.) When a-ha split in the nineties, they made their own band, named after her surname, Savoy. Heck, he even adopted her last name as his own, adding the hyphen to Paul Waaktaar-Savoy.

She guests on a-ha records from time to time (their cover of Savoy’s “Velvet,” as well as “You’ll Never Get Over Me”). Lauren’s even directed a-ha music videos (hooray for “Did Anyone Approach You”). The unofficial fourth member of a-ha, Lauren is.

I admire the pair. Paul, with his introspective songwriting and coy demeanor, and Lauren for her honey-sweet voice and overall sunny disposition. Obviously, I’ve never met this American-Norwegian couple, but it’s just a general vibe I get, you know? Yeah, you know.

And so that’s Video of the Week numero 40. Only a couple of videos left to knock out, folks. CLICK HERE to comment.

Hm, there must be something to being empty of feeling…Reasons to stay indoors, you don’t need any more. You remind me of the man I once was, and some say, I still am…

☼

Tags: a-ha, Angel In The Snow, Did Anyone Approach You, Empty Of Feeling, Lackluster Me, Lauren Savoy, Pal Waaktaar, Paul Waaktaar, Reasons To Stay Indoors, Savoy, sepia, Take On Me, There's Never A Forever Thing, Velvet, Video of the Week, You'll Never Get Over Me

Happy St. Patrick’s Day, Alflings! Put on your best vomit-green duds and get out there and green-vomit on your vomit-green duds by drinking green beer vomit!

I went to Candyland today. It was Oz; real life is black-and-white Kansas. And SpongeBob was there. And Dora the Explorer. And Daddy Yankee.

Yup, yup, I visited MTV Studios in Miami Beach. It was a real eye-opener. ZONK! A revelatory boom shaka.

☼

☼

That dog is funny. He amuses me. (Why do I assume it’s a he?)

Anyway, it’s not as funny as today’s video. I think it’s my favorite YouTube video ever. It’s probably yours, too. It has been seen by millions. Centuries from now, anthropologists will hack into the Matrix and find it. They will know what American culture is about just by watching this specimen of the human race. Ladies and germs, a leprechaun visited Mobile, Alabama.

☼

☼

How can you pick a favorite character from this performance piece? The dude in the beginning who looks like David Alan Grier? The amateur sketch any of us would have drawn? (It looks like Warwick Davis.) The crackhead accuser? The wise man who cleverly posits that it may just be branch shadows? The wiser man who has anti-leprechaun survival gear? The wisest of all, he who just wants the gold?

We all want the gold. In this economic turmoil, we can use that Irish luck that has been passed down from pub to pub. “I want the gold. Give me the gold. I want the gold.” The human condition at its most succinct. Amen.

CLICK HERE if you are as drunk as I want to be.

☼

Tags: 21 leaf clover, anthropologist, anthropology, boom shaka, Candyland, crack, crackhead, Daddy Yankee, David Alan Grier, Dora the Explorer, economy, four leaf clover, Fry, Futurama, Guinness, Guinness World Record, human condition, Ireland, Irish, Irish car bomb, Kansas, leprechaun, Miami Beach, Mobile Alabama, MTV, MTV Studios, Oz, seven leaf clover, shamrock, South Beach, SpongeBob, SpongeBob SquarePants, St Patrick's Day, St Patty's, The Luck of the Fryish, The Matrix, VIACOM, viral, vomit, Warwick Davis, YouTube